"Keepin it real" vs. "Keeping it REALLY real"

Why does "Keeping It Real" always involve BS? Like reality must always result in the shittiest possibility. Life's a bitch and then you die...and all that sort of yuck.

I'd like to "keep it really real" instead. Meaning that not only am I willing to express the true actual funk (mental illness, sadness, emotional whateverness, the tax man, etc.) but also how I am delighting in the awesome things in life too (fun, sex, music, etc. etc. etc.). The trick is of course transformation. I think I'm getting pretty good at it - tho it's still a damn challenge.

Case in point:
Today I woke up w/ funk. Funk inspired by physical ailment (yet another sinus infection). So that's compounded funk actually. As a result I spent some moments while I got dressed, relieved myself, & brushed my teeth to let that compounded funk lead me into Poopyville.

Poopyville - where no one is happy and everything stinks. About a mile and a half out of Hell.

I did a tally of my current circumstances - but only counted the depressing points - that's how one prepares for a visit to Poopyville. Here's the real shitty breakdown:

1. I'm sick (see above)
2. I haven't had sex in about 2.5 weeks (feels like a month)
3. I don't have a car...that works (I uh, broke it in December)
4. I make dick (left my nice, regular job last July to work for a friend who can barely pay me)
5. I have 4 boring ass articles to write today (copy writing is painful and hard)
6. I'm in debt (like every other foolish American citizen)
7. Some of that debt went to collections (a certain credit card now hates me)
8. My self confidence waxes and wanes daily (sometimes dipping dangerously low)
9. At age 32 I don't sometimes know how I will transcend all this actual bullshit...in time.
   

Pretty retarded huh? I could add more of course but that would be grossly pathetic and self pitying. But my point is that with this list I feel I am rather justified in getting particularly depressed - and well...crying a little. It's pretty worrisome and stressful.

Now my job...in order not to actually follow Shit Avenue on it's way into Hell...is not about putting on a happy face and desperately trying to think everything is okay (cause yeah, no car + little money + bad debt is awesome right? right...). Rather my job is to take this shit and somehow clean it up and transform it so that I not only do I NOT DIE, but I actually thrive.

One of the trickiest things about real, actual shit...is finding the real actual kernel of hope within it and using it to grow something amazing and beautiful. In real life I don't get a fairy godmother w/ a magic wand - I gotta get my own magical shit together to fairy godmother my ass out of misery.

So I've got 9 points of shit in my life.
Now what?

Well...now I get a bucket of water and some soap.

I'll tell you about the Shit Neutralizing process next blog :)